According to Timehop, this time 3 years ago a film crew were in my home rigging up cameras to film me scoffing my face over the course of a week for Channel 4’s Secret Eaters (you can watch it on 4OD here).
At the time I was what I’d call ‘normal’ overweight. A size 16, but nothing that would cause a doctor concern. I felt massive though, and knew if I carried on the way I was going then I’d easily have slipped into full on fatty status.
Secret Eaters taught me that my overindulging wasn’t in the meals I cooked, but actually in my mid-afternoon snacks and alcohol consumption. I always tell myself they caught me on a bad week as it was the lead up to Christmas, but actually it probably wasn’t that out of the ordinary.
In the 9 months after the show was first filmed I lost 2 stones and looked very different, but at the time I still felt big (despite dropping 2 dress sizes) and kept finding new goals to hit.
Then monotony of being always so fixated with my weight loss, diet and exercise set in and I kind of let things slide a little, putting 10lbs of it back on, but feeling bigger than ever.
After a year of pretty much staying the same weight, give or take a few pounds, I have hit that point again where I’m ready to make a change.
I go through phases like this quite a lot, but never really mean it. I think weight loss, or looking at your diet, is as big a mental issue as it is physical. It’s fecking horrible when your physical appearance is on your mind 24/7.
This is why when I noticed #Fempower cropping up on Twitter that it caught my attention. The brainchild of Melissa Weldon, one of my favourite trainers at 1Rebel, Fempower was set up to build a community of strong, healthy and confident women. Melissa is a huge advocate of supporting women, wants to instil in us that our worth isn’t measured by the number of likes our Instagram selfies get, or the size of our jeans, and has been recruiting a team of women to join her and take part in Toughest, an obstacle course race taking part in London (well, technically East Sussex) in April 2016.
Last month I took the plunge and signed up. I’m now a member of Team Fempower and despite realising how ridiculous these obstacles we’ll need to tackle in April, I’m strangely excited.
Today I headed down to Hyde Park to join her and around 30 other women in a circuits workout…where I can safely say I quickly realised that I barely have enough strength to squash an ant, and therefore have a lot to do if I expect to be throwing myself over walls, climbing rope and all sorts next spring.
This week 2016 looked set to be a year of fitness for me as I found out I got a ballot place in Berlin Marathon next September.
When I signed up to Secret Eaters 3 years ago I was training for my first marathon, and have since run 2. I have felt like I’ve had a third in me for a while, but got completely bored with running so had a winter off and now will be back for a third next year.
For me, I like goals. I like to have something to aim for, a focus, a deadline. It keeps me motivated.
So, here I pledge the following goals for 2016:
- Complete Toughest with a group of inspiring, motivational women by my side
- Complete Berlin Marathon in sub 4:30 (my PB is 04:42:39)
- Realise that my self-worth is not measured by what the scales say and the size of my bingo wings – I want to truly believe in this, so this may be the biggest challenge!
I hope to use this blog as an outlet to track my training, my diet (this is where I really need to focus), my ups, my downs and my musings over the next 10 months.
Here we go!